Gotta Lot Of Bullets

I'm back.

Actually did some thinking.

I missed you all so much! I cried myself to sleep every night.

I see Mello thought he'd be clever with my away message. Not much to argue with when it's a machine. Kid does not know how to pick his fights.

And Strixy commented, too...

Well, Strix, ready for that talk?

I'm going out for a long walk. If I don't come back for a couple days, don't go crying to Lucy.

You people make me sick. And you wonder why I like being alone so much. Emerald, keep your hands off my shit while I'm gone.

If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. No one gets their shit done around here. We either half-ass or we brag about the miracles that we just so happen to be. I actually do something for this team.

Light, feel free to talk whenever you want. You ain't so bad right now.

Well, whaddya know. Things are finally starting to get interesting around here.

I heard Mello and Banru with that bazooka. Nice weapon. Not as big as mine. I knew right away Banru had bad taste and he just advertised that to everyone. And Mello? Not really worth the afterthought.

Apparently, Una's taste is just as bad as Banru's, I've heard. Shame. I thought she was better than that.

Oh, Emerald, how I do ~miss~ you. The noises you made at night, the times I told you to get my guns out from between your legs (really, what a way to get 'banged'), the one day you were the mummy... There's just no one to pick on anymore. No one to have sex with everyone and distract them from coming on to me. I hope you died, Emerald. It would ease my heart.

*snort*

Light's doing better. He can speak in sentences.

And Carrion? Ooooh, Carrion, you are a handful. I've got my pretty little eye on you~.

LIGHTY, GET YOUR FRISKY LITTLE ASS OVER HERE, WE NEED TO TALK.

All you other dumbfucks, take five. Hours. Sally's got some serious business to attend to.

Been training Shinji how to shoot properly. He's not as bad as he initially thought he was. Damn kid needs to give himself more credit. Sure, he'll never be as good as me - no one will ever be - but he's got the basics down. Maybe it'll give him something to do. It'll also help keep him from killin' himself, cuz just like little Mitch, he's got a lot going for him.

I feel like a mentor. How bizarrely thrilling it is! My greatness is prolific, hehe.

New shits arrived today. Three - four? - of them, I think. I can't keep track. I don't really care anyway. What do I do to at least remember their names? Mello....hm. Mellodramatic. Allen. Oldspice. He sounds like an aftershave kind of ladies' man. Banru. Baaanru....LIBERACE. Suits him and his fruity kicks, too. Wesker. Don't know much about him. Might as well just leave it at Wesker. Wanker if he, eheh, rubs me the wrong way.

Okay, that wasn't funny.

Whaddya know, I'm 'crack'ing down on my own jokes. I'm disappointing.

Other than that, I've decided to follow the so-called lead of some of the others right now. I'm peeling bananas and keeping my eye on the little tykes in Asgard. Light's in some drama. I wonder if he could ever live without it. He won't let me in *sniffles*.

They've got a shitload of new arrivals. For fuck's sake, aren't they already screwed up enough as it is? Yeah, bring in more recruits. It'll make it all the more fun to eradicate them.

You know, I wonder what happened to that Alice chick. I was only in her body for one day. Almost makes me want to be a woman again. Just to see what it's like. It's been three....two...no three....maybe two...years.

Meh. Women are weak.

Maybe I should go say hi to her. Just for pity's sake.

Things are actually....painfully quiet around here. What happened to all the fire? It's like Strix walking into the room. Somebody snuffed out the flame.

I've been pretty well behaved recently, surprise. Had a less-than-noteworthy encounter with Jazzy and Midvalley. They don't bother me so much anymore. Fuckin' had it with freaking out over what the other members can or cannot do. I just don't get why Jazzy is so into me. It just - ew. Nothing personal, man. Nothing personal at all. I'd have the same reaction if anybody came after me. Not that I'm trying to defend my actions, it's just.....EW.

I say it once, I'll say it again - ew, ew, EW.

Like they think it'd be that easy to win me over anyway. People do so like to underestimate me.

I'm not gonna shy away and hide behind a bucket of privates. I've weened in my attempts to get Mitch's attention. I have my reasons. One of them has to do with the fact that somebody else could try to get involved. And when somebody touches my things, I'll risk expulsion from this place just to shoot them between the eyes. I don't know why no one'd take me seriously on that threat. If they had anything between their ears, they'd back off now.

So one of my turrets is destroyed. I'll need to fix that.

Other than that, I have plans with good old Carrion. He wants to give me a demonstration. But we'll see who the one with the fireworks is in the end. Thinks he's all that just cuz he has a fishtank on his head. Whoop-de-do. Don't get me wrong, you guys. I know he's serious shit. In case you're concerned, I'll be careful. What would you do without me, anyway?

Light, this one's for you.

If you've got something to say about me, say it to my face. Kay? I know some people are a bit fussy about the way I do things, but instead of sitting on your fat asses and griping, come talk to me. I'm a big kid; lay it on me.

...
...
...

Emerald's gone. Fucking cunt. ....She better be lost. Stuck in a cave or stuck up a tree or something. I knew she was mad at me for beating up on that mummy body, but yeesh, I didn't think she'd take off at the first tick of midnight.

Now I have no one to pick on. Will, get over here - I need to pick on someone bad.


{AN: Sal 'misses' Emerald as much as Sal can miss anyone (that's not much, but it's more than nothing) and that's why s/he's a bit snappish at the others. Sorry D:}

I AM IN A WOMAN'S BODY.

A PRETTY, BLONDE-HAIRED, BLUE-EYED, BRIDESMAID-DRESS-WEARING WOMAN'S BODY.

I haven't...I haven't been a woman for two and a half years. This is.....this thing is disgusting. Who the fuck looks this pure naturally? I mean, holy shit, I look sweet and innocent and friendly. I could have tolerated being male, but this...? Who the fuck is the owner of this pathetic little corpse.

A dress....a dress... So breezy down there. Damnit, involuntary pussy...

And all of my good knives are on my real body.


....
.......
....

>.>
<.<

Who has my body.

AN: While it hasn't been posted yet, the Mitch-player and I have already discussed the outcome of Sal's and Mitch's fight, so these are Sal's thoughts after the entire incident.}

Things didn't go according to plan.

Obviously.

Or else Mitch would be here right now, under my tutelage.

Henry fought. I did so like that about him. He fought so hard, he "walked" away bloodier than he should have been. He was quiet in my room. Defiant. Annoying.

Walter was ever so kind to interrupt. And while I'd sure love to bitch about it, he's just not worth the effort. A stupid child with a stupid demon or whatever the fuck it is perched on his shoulder. Like I've said a hundred times before, it's all talk.

But Will did impress me. I admit, I didn't expect differently. The hidden gun, the plot to get everyone else alive. I wonder...no one's told me....did Henry make it back to Asgard alive? Somebody~? Anybody~?

This is what happens when no one takes me seriously. I get serious. SURPRISE.

Hn.....just a bit angry. Marginally pissed.

Mitch was the best, I think. The very best. I got a couple shots into Henry and Will, but they'da been dead before they left the room if Bunsen Burner didn't figure to play hero. I even got to the roof...was gonna shoot those shits with one of the snipers, but that boy came after me. He's much more resilient than I thought.

Falling off the roof was fun, wasn't it, Mitch? Torching me, too, I'll wager. Don't worry, though, I've got some salve, about twenty other suits, and this still insatiable hunger to win you over. How're the bruises? I thought I heard something break, but I could be wrong.

Whaaaaat...? You expect that to be it?

Maybe I'm a spoiled child here, but you should know by now, Mitch - I don't stop till I get what I want. And oh how I want you.

There'll be other times to fight, my friend. We'll leave Henry and Will out of this. No distractions. No crying wolf. Just you and me, sweetheart.

I look forward to it.

Aw, now, the party's ended and nobody will tell me how it went. C'mon, Jazz, Midvalley - no details? I'm just so darn curious.

As for Strix - haven't spoken to you much lately. Didn't scare you away, did I? You're so dry on conversation right now. How I miss you.

I hate to admit it, but boy, Asgard's got a lively bunch. Methinks a bit too lively. I think I'll take a walk over there. Take my chances. Cause some trouble. End some lives.

Wish me luck, Will~

Wonder wear all the furry, cuddly animals in Niflheim went? If you wanna know so badly, why don't you come and join me for dinner? I made rabbit stew.

Heh.

I see everyone's search and destroy plans are just about trashed, no thanks to Light. What's wrong, everybody? Just too much for you to stomach? I have to be honest, fuck it all, but I hate that guy. Not because of what he did when you're a hunter, what does it matter how you catch your prey, so long as you get 'em?, but because he's got potential.

Ooh. Did I say that out loud?

We hate what we fear, they say. Now, I ain't a coward (that's a title given to a couple others around here), but I do know a challenge when I see one. And for Light, who chose someone not on my turf, I've got nothing more to say or do than stand back and applaud the twisted bastard.

Very nice, Light, very nice indeed.

They beat up guys like you for that in prison. And here, too, apparently...

It's like they've all suddenly grown hearts. Makes me sick to my stomach.

On another friendly note -

Hope you like your room, Carey. Una and I gave it such special attention.

As for those of Niflheim meandering their way over here just to be 'sure': I don't private my shit. I leave out in broad daylight. Like a nudist in Times Square. Flashy example, eh? I just wanted all of you to know, I'm not running up and down Emptiness like a chicken without a head; I'm watching you. Each and every one of you.

And I'll wait...

And I'll wait...

And before you know it, it'll be too late...

Like the rhyme? I'm a talented person.

But don't let the cheeky grin fool you. There's arsenic in your coffee. Ciao.

Hn.

I feel like I've joined the fucking circus. Robots, witches, mummies, demons, and the Prince of Darkness. All we need now is the Bearded Lady.

So - Emerald and I did up our room. Don't know why I never thought of it before back in NYC. Woulda made headlines for sure. But I guess I'm cool with slobbering entrails all over the vanity. Maybe I'll even use the leftovers as presents in everyone else's rooms...

Ain't I a dish?

With that being said, I've been watching all those little Asgard punks across the way. What a delicious confection of pathetic shits. Not to say Niflheim's got it any better. We fucking have people questioning why they're here. Hey, you've been hand picked by Lucifer herself - just fucking enjoy the ride. Whiny sods...

Anyway, back to Asgard - I ain't been posting much, but I've been watching. Oh, I've been watching lots. I feel the winds of change are coming, and I'm riding 'em. I'm riding 'em straight into your backyard.


~~~~
AN: Holy crap! You people sure are active! I've been busy - finals and such - so I may not have my characters post very often on everyone's journals, but I am reading them! So I don't mean to offend if my characters are not as chatty as they should be.

....Well, fuck.

I got called here on good behavior (if you call shooting a pregnant woman 'good behavior', heh). And I figured, "Damn, musta done something right."

But this...?

This is bullshit. I make a deal with Lucifer and he gives me the pussy room?? And apparently I'm sharing it with a pussy, too. What's her name - Emerald? If she goes anywhere near my guns - if she gets anything on them - she won't be making it to bed tonight. Damn. I've already put shelves on the far wall to host my collection of babies (couldn't come out here without 'em, eh?). Two under my pillow, bazooka under the bed...it almost feels like home.

I pushed the vanity over to Pussy's side of the room. Maybe I'll use it for target practice later. Who else is here in this house, huh? Did I draw the short straw, or did Lucifer screw us all over? I personally intend to fix this.

...We got any red paint around here?

I'm not really posting here for much other than to make sure it looks good on my character's page. =D

So it's not really an intro.

Ha.