Gotta Lot Of Bullets

Oh, thank God Almighty B(B) is now a member of this team! What would we ever do without him~?

I mean, it's not like we were doing anything before. Please give my condolences to Henry, Mitch, Will, Blythe, and L (and another one very, very soon) for all those terrible nightmares they all just happened to suffer.

I don't know how I managed to get inside those dreams. It would have been even worse if I had actually done something to them.

Oh, wait.

I did.

So continue being lazy shits. Rely on new and uninteresting failures. Brag about how awesome and fearsome you are. Find true love in unexpected places! Stick to what you know - like rocks and hiding under them. Tell me how bored you are. Please? It makes me feel better. So. Much. Better.

Don't talk big unless you have something to back it up. Have you seen yourselves? All of you are pathetic. Try to keep up, will you~? It gets so lonely on top.

( Private to Banru and Emerald )

It's funny how I leave practically nothing private on these journals and those of Asgard seem to, for the most part, overlook them. It's not like I'm listing square roots, people.

It makes me laugh. You always overlook what has been staring you in the face all along.

For example!

Blythe was FUN. So fucking FUN. Didn't do much to her - I had to keep her alive - a deal's a deal - but she was delightful. "I'll scream!" Hahaha. And the horde of men who came to her rescue. I have a choice word for a woman like that, but damned if I'll try to say it here, because someone'll jump me. Oh, wait, no one reads this anyway. Whore.

Heh.

Kain smells formidable. I thought my biggest issue would be L, but nooooo. Besides, L belongs to Light, and well, I don't cut into another's turf. Light, you have a gay old time with that boy, you hear? Whisper naughty things in his ear. Make us all sick to our stomachs again. ♥

You'll never be able to shoot like me. Remember that. Trigger-happy children, that's what you are. None of you have what it takes. It's like surgery - precision, boys, precision! Prolong the agony. Stitch 'em up, start all over again.

What was I saying? Kain! Kain, yeah, he's a lot like Mitch. Couple years on him, but not many. Still children. He sounds like he wants to fight. I may have to satisfy that curiosity. Every child needs time in the corner.

Mitch is still my number one. I even made a foam finger, just for the next time I see him. He thinks he's in the clear. He's releasing one big sigh of fucking relief that I've focused my attention elsewhere. Sorry, darling: I'm always watching you. ♥

Oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch, oh...

Oh...and someone else.

Someone near and dear to my heart. She knows who she is. If allowed to go into detail, we'd be here all night, but... I bet she smells nice. I bet she has one of those scents that just mingles with the stench of blood like magic. I see a full moon, hundreds of candles, two wine goblets, classical music, and an operating table. It's like an aphrodisiac just thinking about it, daydreaming, fantasizing... Can a Phoenix howl? As quick as a Rascal may worship.

Mitch, don't let her win! I don't have another foam finger. And you know you want to be my number one forever!

Now squirm.

( Private to Schroedinger and Carrion )

I'm just....so relieved I got back to Niflheim on fucking time. Stayed ten minutes longer, and I'd be down in Davy Jones' Locker.

Speaking of which - twelve hours into this shit and already everyone's spitting out their cheap pirate slang? Really now, kiddies? Have some willpower, some damned self-respect. Pirate talk, come on...

My outfit's snazzy, though. Still got my guns. I can deal with it.

ANYWAY, boy, did I have fun in Asgard and Emptiness. I'm all up for sharing details. Really, now, it was quite the adventure. I got to rough up a little girl (slim pickings these days) and got to sit back and watch as Light played the big badass of the day.

The Perfect Day.