Gotta Lot Of Bullets

It's funny how I leave practically nothing private on these journals and those of Asgard seem to, for the most part, overlook them. It's not like I'm listing square roots, people.

It makes me laugh. You always overlook what has been staring you in the face all along.

For example!

Blythe was FUN. So fucking FUN. Didn't do much to her - I had to keep her alive - a deal's a deal - but she was delightful. "I'll scream!" Hahaha. And the horde of men who came to her rescue. I have a choice word for a woman like that, but damned if I'll try to say it here, because someone'll jump me. Oh, wait, no one reads this anyway. Whore.

Heh.

Kain smells formidable. I thought my biggest issue would be L, but nooooo. Besides, L belongs to Light, and well, I don't cut into another's turf. Light, you have a gay old time with that boy, you hear? Whisper naughty things in his ear. Make us all sick to our stomachs again. ♥

You'll never be able to shoot like me. Remember that. Trigger-happy children, that's what you are. None of you have what it takes. It's like surgery - precision, boys, precision! Prolong the agony. Stitch 'em up, start all over again.

What was I saying? Kain! Kain, yeah, he's a lot like Mitch. Couple years on him, but not many. Still children. He sounds like he wants to fight. I may have to satisfy that curiosity. Every child needs time in the corner.

Mitch is still my number one. I even made a foam finger, just for the next time I see him. He thinks he's in the clear. He's releasing one big sigh of fucking relief that I've focused my attention elsewhere. Sorry, darling: I'm always watching you. ♥

Oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch, oh...

Oh...and someone else.

Someone near and dear to my heart. She knows who she is. If allowed to go into detail, we'd be here all night, but... I bet she smells nice. I bet she has one of those scents that just mingles with the stench of blood like magic. I see a full moon, hundreds of candles, two wine goblets, classical music, and an operating table. It's like an aphrodisiac just thinking about it, daydreaming, fantasizing... Can a Phoenix howl? As quick as a Rascal may worship.

Mitch, don't let her win! I don't have another foam finger. And you know you want to be my number one forever!

Now squirm.

( Private to Schroedinger and Carrion )

Been training Shinji how to shoot properly. He's not as bad as he initially thought he was. Damn kid needs to give himself more credit. Sure, he'll never be as good as me - no one will ever be - but he's got the basics down. Maybe it'll give him something to do. It'll also help keep him from killin' himself, cuz just like little Mitch, he's got a lot going for him.

I feel like a mentor. How bizarrely thrilling it is! My greatness is prolific, hehe.

New shits arrived today. Three - four? - of them, I think. I can't keep track. I don't really care anyway. What do I do to at least remember their names? Mello....hm. Mellodramatic. Allen. Oldspice. He sounds like an aftershave kind of ladies' man. Banru. Baaanru....LIBERACE. Suits him and his fruity kicks, too. Wesker. Don't know much about him. Might as well just leave it at Wesker. Wanker if he, eheh, rubs me the wrong way.

Okay, that wasn't funny.

Whaddya know, I'm 'crack'ing down on my own jokes. I'm disappointing.

Other than that, I've decided to follow the so-called lead of some of the others right now. I'm peeling bananas and keeping my eye on the little tykes in Asgard. Light's in some drama. I wonder if he could ever live without it. He won't let me in *sniffles*.

They've got a shitload of new arrivals. For fuck's sake, aren't they already screwed up enough as it is? Yeah, bring in more recruits. It'll make it all the more fun to eradicate them.

You know, I wonder what happened to that Alice chick. I was only in her body for one day. Almost makes me want to be a woman again. Just to see what it's like. It's been three....two...no three....maybe two...years.

Meh. Women are weak.

Maybe I should go say hi to her. Just for pity's sake.

Things are actually....painfully quiet around here. What happened to all the fire? It's like Strix walking into the room. Somebody snuffed out the flame.

I've been pretty well behaved recently, surprise. Had a less-than-noteworthy encounter with Jazzy and Midvalley. They don't bother me so much anymore. Fuckin' had it with freaking out over what the other members can or cannot do. I just don't get why Jazzy is so into me. It just - ew. Nothing personal, man. Nothing personal at all. I'd have the same reaction if anybody came after me. Not that I'm trying to defend my actions, it's just.....EW.

I say it once, I'll say it again - ew, ew, EW.

Like they think it'd be that easy to win me over anyway. People do so like to underestimate me.

I'm not gonna shy away and hide behind a bucket of privates. I've weened in my attempts to get Mitch's attention. I have my reasons. One of them has to do with the fact that somebody else could try to get involved. And when somebody touches my things, I'll risk expulsion from this place just to shoot them between the eyes. I don't know why no one'd take me seriously on that threat. If they had anything between their ears, they'd back off now.

So one of my turrets is destroyed. I'll need to fix that.

Other than that, I have plans with good old Carrion. He wants to give me a demonstration. But we'll see who the one with the fireworks is in the end. Thinks he's all that just cuz he has a fishtank on his head. Whoop-de-do. Don't get me wrong, you guys. I know he's serious shit. In case you're concerned, I'll be careful. What would you do without me, anyway?

Light, this one's for you.

I AM IN A WOMAN'S BODY.

A PRETTY, BLONDE-HAIRED, BLUE-EYED, BRIDESMAID-DRESS-WEARING WOMAN'S BODY.

I haven't...I haven't been a woman for two and a half years. This is.....this thing is disgusting. Who the fuck looks this pure naturally? I mean, holy shit, I look sweet and innocent and friendly. I could have tolerated being male, but this...? Who the fuck is the owner of this pathetic little corpse.

A dress....a dress... So breezy down there. Damnit, involuntary pussy...

And all of my good knives are on my real body.


....
.......
....

>.>
<.<

Who has my body.

AN: While it hasn't been posted yet, the Mitch-player and I have already discussed the outcome of Sal's and Mitch's fight, so these are Sal's thoughts after the entire incident.}

Things didn't go according to plan.

Obviously.

Or else Mitch would be here right now, under my tutelage.

Henry fought. I did so like that about him. He fought so hard, he "walked" away bloodier than he should have been. He was quiet in my room. Defiant. Annoying.

Walter was ever so kind to interrupt. And while I'd sure love to bitch about it, he's just not worth the effort. A stupid child with a stupid demon or whatever the fuck it is perched on his shoulder. Like I've said a hundred times before, it's all talk.

But Will did impress me. I admit, I didn't expect differently. The hidden gun, the plot to get everyone else alive. I wonder...no one's told me....did Henry make it back to Asgard alive? Somebody~? Anybody~?

This is what happens when no one takes me seriously. I get serious. SURPRISE.

Hn.....just a bit angry. Marginally pissed.

Mitch was the best, I think. The very best. I got a couple shots into Henry and Will, but they'da been dead before they left the room if Bunsen Burner didn't figure to play hero. I even got to the roof...was gonna shoot those shits with one of the snipers, but that boy came after me. He's much more resilient than I thought.

Falling off the roof was fun, wasn't it, Mitch? Torching me, too, I'll wager. Don't worry, though, I've got some salve, about twenty other suits, and this still insatiable hunger to win you over. How're the bruises? I thought I heard something break, but I could be wrong.

Whaaaaat...? You expect that to be it?

Maybe I'm a spoiled child here, but you should know by now, Mitch - I don't stop till I get what I want. And oh how I want you.

There'll be other times to fight, my friend. We'll leave Henry and Will out of this. No distractions. No crying wolf. Just you and me, sweetheart.

I look forward to it.