Gotta Lot Of Bullets

Hmmmmmm, Emptiness is getting kinda lonely out here~

( Private to Banru )

1. With Gin popping out of whatever rock he was hiding under, Kain is no longer of interest to me.

2. And with Valtiel going 'oh, look at me, I'm a big scary demon!', I am now less impressed than ever. Really, now, something original, please?

3. Schro, Alessa, and I are one big fucking happy family now. There's my good deed for the day.

4. Someone's been messing with my cameras.

5. I just realized that Flauros gives shitty advice.

6. I still look like a bulldozer ran me over. I think she broke my nose. I had to reset it. It hurt. ♥

7. Mitch is actually starting to bore me! I didn't think the day would come, but he's no longer entertaining. I was thinking about him last night before I went to bed and I actually yawned. And not because I was tired, oh no! Well, that just means one thing. Judgment time!

8. I'm going back to Emptiness first thing tomorrow morning!

And that was, like, totally my blog for the day. ♥

Jazz is annoying.

Wesker isn't around enough to be annoying. So I might have to annoy him.

Mello's intimidated by me.

Walter's half bloodhound.

Emerald and that headdress were hilarious.

And I feel pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and gay.

I can't stop thinking about Alessa. I think I'm in love with her. I didn't know two asexuals could ever find each other, but we did! It was destiny. She's the one for me. It's nice nobody else wants her. That way, I won't have to fight anyone. It helps to be worthless.

It's okay if we can't have children. We'll adopt. I'm sure Schroedinger wouldn't mind diapers. Then the three of us will find a comfy spot in Emptiness and live there together. Lighty can come visit. We'll have a cellar for him to put L in when he's bored with him. And then we can all have a beer and watch football together. Until Alessa blows another hole in me. God, I love that thing.

It's funny how I leave practically nothing private on these journals and those of Asgard seem to, for the most part, overlook them. It's not like I'm listing square roots, people.

It makes me laugh. You always overlook what has been staring you in the face all along.

For example!

Blythe was FUN. So fucking FUN. Didn't do much to her - I had to keep her alive - a deal's a deal - but she was delightful. "I'll scream!" Hahaha. And the horde of men who came to her rescue. I have a choice word for a woman like that, but damned if I'll try to say it here, because someone'll jump me. Oh, wait, no one reads this anyway. Whore.

Heh.

Kain smells formidable. I thought my biggest issue would be L, but nooooo. Besides, L belongs to Light, and well, I don't cut into another's turf. Light, you have a gay old time with that boy, you hear? Whisper naughty things in his ear. Make us all sick to our stomachs again. ♥

You'll never be able to shoot like me. Remember that. Trigger-happy children, that's what you are. None of you have what it takes. It's like surgery - precision, boys, precision! Prolong the agony. Stitch 'em up, start all over again.

What was I saying? Kain! Kain, yeah, he's a lot like Mitch. Couple years on him, but not many. Still children. He sounds like he wants to fight. I may have to satisfy that curiosity. Every child needs time in the corner.

Mitch is still my number one. I even made a foam finger, just for the next time I see him. He thinks he's in the clear. He's releasing one big sigh of fucking relief that I've focused my attention elsewhere. Sorry, darling: I'm always watching you. ♥

Oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch, oh, Mitch, oh...

Oh...and someone else.

Someone near and dear to my heart. She knows who she is. If allowed to go into detail, we'd be here all night, but... I bet she smells nice. I bet she has one of those scents that just mingles with the stench of blood like magic. I see a full moon, hundreds of candles, two wine goblets, classical music, and an operating table. It's like an aphrodisiac just thinking about it, daydreaming, fantasizing... Can a Phoenix howl? As quick as a Rascal may worship.

Mitch, don't let her win! I don't have another foam finger. And you know you want to be my number one forever!

Now squirm.

( Private to Schroedinger and Carrion )

So somebody left me a gift on my bed.

I'm not amused, but, meh, that's what you get for working with children. Whoever did this is someone with a wasted existence. Because really, now, goat turds? How bad-ass. You must feel mighty proud of yourself.

Emerald helped me carry it up to the deck. Gallon of gasoline, a match...you get the picture. Think I know who did it. Not saying who yet. But I just wanted to tell them hi - you were so thoughtful. ♥

( Private to Schroedinger )